Christian Marriage as Love Triangle

Many marriages fail today because the individuals in the relationship are in love with someone other than their partner. Often such marital infidelity begins as merely a friendly relationship with a coworker or friend. These completely innocent relationships can easily cross a line in which the participants come to think of the other person in a sexual manner. Even if flirtation and fantasy don’t blossom into physical contact, one should keep in mine how Jesus defines the notion of Christian adultery:

“But I say to you, anyone who stares at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28)

From a Christian perspective, flirting with someone other than your marital partner is flirting with disaster!

Many forget that not only is adultery one of the ten commandments, God also commands us “not to covet your neighbor’s wife” (Exodus 20:17).

Marriage is a sacred bond between two people. Just as God brought Adam and Eve together, he has devised that each of us should find our soulmate. The Gospels describe the sanctity of the marital bond:

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 10:6–9).

Flirting may seem harmless, but it is in reality the first step on the path to adultery. It undermines the marital vows and violates God’s work in uniting the couple.

Now, while many relationships are destroyed when the partners are in love with someone besides their partner, a Christian relationship is actually based on being head over heels in love with someone besides your spouse—that person is, of course, God Himself. Christian marriage has often been described using the image of a triangle with God at the apex and the man and woman occupying the two lower corners. Several ideas about what is required for a relationship to work is implied by this image.

By definition, a relationship cannot exist by a union of two individuals that are both seeking his or her own self-interest. If this were the case, than the relationship would only work in times of prosperity rather than as the marriage vows state “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.” If I am only committed to my partner in the best of times, then the vow should be “till divorce do we part.” Likewise, a relationship of two individuals that are committed to each other but not anything higher lacks directive. This is symbolized by the straight horizontal line at the bottom of the triangle. This is a bond of mutual self-interest, which has no direction in which to grow.

The relationship only becomes energized and solidified when the two points at the bottom are joined to a mutual third point that is held by God at the triangle’s apex. The sides of the triangle thus represent the bond that each of the marriage partners have with the Divine. Now while it is true that “he who joins himself to the Lord becomes spiritually one with him” (1 Cor. 6:17), our spiritual union is a constant journey to become closer and closer to God. An equally yoked relationship where each partner is pursuing a journey to unite himself or herself with God also brings the couple closer together as is represented by the greater proximity of the sides of the triangle as one gets closer to its apex.

A Christian marriage rests on a solid foundation when the partners are completely faithful to each other and faithful to God. The more the partners love God, the stronger becomes their union with each other. Avoid infidelity at all costs while allowing God to be the other man in your life!